Robert’s Perspective

What can I say, I was left scratching my head wondering where I could have gone wrong and how our relationship unraveled so quickly. I felt like everything was progressing in the right direction but you can’t change the heart. The difficult thing about a breakup is that it’s never mutual. I’m not embarrassed to admit the initiator was not me in this case. My position never changed, not once. To complicate matters, we sat directly across from each other at work. Yeah, really second guessing dating in the workplace at this point… I think awkward would hardly describe the next couple of weeks. Fortunately, I was being promoted and my territory was now Northern California which included not only a seat change at work but extensive travel as well. Thank. The. Lord. Couldn’t have come at a better time. The difference in this relationship and previous relationships is we weren’t angry or upset with each other. It just wasn’t our time and knew the best thing to do would be to let her go. If it was meant to be she would return and timing would prove to be more on our side at the appropriate time.

I did what any man does in my situation and buried myself in work and 2 a days at the gym. Heck, I was running in the morning and lifting weights in the afternoon. Nothing like leaning up a bit when you’re single….

Mireille and I went through a period where we didn’t speak but were always cordial in passing work. I knew as much as I wanted to tell her how I felt, it would only fall on deaf ears. Timing wasn’t right. Period. I don’t know what else to say. Life as I knew it went on and I continued to do what I could at work and to acclimate to my new territory.  About a six weeks had passed from our breakup when I was notified I would be attending a trade show in Las Vegas the following month. When I went to look at who would be attending the show from work that week, you’ll never guess who’s name showed up. Thats right Mireille. What the hell.

A day or two passed when Mireille and I began speaking again, specifically about Las Vegas. Additionally, she notified me while in Vegas she would be turning 30 years old. Hmm…seems like a great time to say the least. For whatever reason, whether it was the simple fact we were going to an event together or if I had given her enough breathing room, all of the sudden we began to strike up a conversations again. With a week to go, we were speaking just about every day. Odd to say the least but I wasn’t complaining.

The day we were flying to Las Vegas, I went to the house she was living in and was getting everything packed up to leave. Georgia (Now our dog) was needing some water when I reached down to pick up her bowl and felt a slight film on the inside of the bowl. Doing what anyone would do, I decided as opposed to just refilling, I would take a few minutes to wash the bowl. Mireille at this time had walked out to the back porch and saw me washing the bowl. I wouldn’t include this trivial detail other than the fact that Mireille later told me this was the moment she realized I was different. Well, I guess its the little things in life. I looked out the window and saw her staring at me with a look I hadn’t seen in quite some time.

We packed up and left the house towards the airport. When we arrived, Mireille was on the phone with her mother pacing around comforting her that everything was going to be alright and that she would speak to her when she landed. I asked to speak with her mother, took the phone and walked away for a few minutes. Often times people need someone who portrays confidence to provide piece of mind. I calmed her mother about the flight, hung up the phone and we boarded the plane.

When Mireille and I boarded the flight we weren’t scheduled to sit next to each other so doing what I do best, I began to negotiate a seat change with other patrons on the plane. I was successful in my attempt and sat next to the most beautiful girl in the world. The plane drove out on the tarmac and began our departure. Just before the plane gathered enough speed to lift the front wheels off the ground, Mireille reached over and grabbed my hand. She was nervous about flying.

Mireille’s perspective:

I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing, but part of me resorted back to the past with rose colored glasses and pushing people away. If you know me personally, you can probably read between the lines. I knew I was ready to settle down, but was searching for the right person so much that I got caught up in the concept and didn’t realize he was right in front of me. When I finally let go of all of that, it happened naturally, which most people are probably like hello, yes. But I had control issues I suppose.

Things were going well and I got a new position at work, one I was actually good at. It was a Channel Manager, and it wasn’t selling to people directly, it was teaching others and getting partner teams excited how to sell our product. That I could do, and I thrived at it. Thank goodness because Robert was no longer doing my work for me coaching me. Robert got a new position and moved across the office. We were still on the same kickball team and still all went out to Friday lunch together, so it’s not like it was easy to avoid each other. But the interesting thing was, I didn’t want or need to. We started talking more and I remember thinking how easy it was and I was so thankful he wasn’t pushy with me because I knew how he felt, he just let me be. Most guys I knew either over compensated because their ego was rejected, or became an ass. He was just his calm and silently confident self, and would still look at me with the most genuine eyes that I felt truly saw me and appreciated me for me. I say all this because I believe this all brought me back around organically.

A group of people were selected to run a trade show in Vegas. This wasn’t uncommon, they alternated groups of people all the time to go to trade shows, but usually they were the sales people. I had gone into Channel but I was not going to complain. Getting to travel and not be in the office with fun people, and over my 30th birthday, this was living. I saw that Robert was going and the first thought that came to my mind was comfort. He has this ability to make me feel so calm in any situation. (This would prove to come in handy later when having a colicky baby.) I was so excited he was going because I just genuinely wanted to be around him. We talked about Vegas and planning for the trip. He told me we were going to stay an extra night and organized those plans. I wanted someone that just took charge, in a care taking way. The funny thing is that it’s obvious we would be staying together but I didn’t question or think twice about it. I just kind of let it happen. I wasn’t crazy about turning 30, my whole plan in life to be married with kids at 30 was something I had to let go of long ago, and what is crazy is that the first time I felt truly ok with that, was when I felt like I had Robert by my side. Like he just wanted to be with me in this journey of life and it made me forget about rules and labels that I used to care about. He was letting me enjoy what life is truly about and truly feel out the me that I needed to be, by just being in my life… I really don’t think he knew or intended this.

The day we were flying out to Vegas, Robert came by to pick me up. We ate lunch at my house on the back porch while we were packing everything up. He went inside to fill Georgia’s water bowl up and I could see him through the window. He didn’t just grab it and fill it up, he was washing it out first. Never in my entire life would I expect a guy to pay close enough attention to do this. It was a little bit about the fact that he did it, but more about the cognitive attention he embodied. Robert wasn’t even a dog person (he is now and had to come around). I knew in that exact moment that he was different and that I loved and appreciated his attention to detail and caring, but more importantly, to me. This is the kind of person I was looking for. This was the part of the ‘more’.

I guess I was seeing everything differently now, but he was what I wanted. I didn’t need breathing room, I didn’t need someone else, I needed him and I finally saw it. He arranged for our seats to be next to each other, and I was so glad he just made things happen, and is so smooth about doing so. Our plane was taking off and even though I was a flight attendant for 2 years in my 20’s, I am nervous every single take-off (because that’s the crucial part…I learned enough in training to know. Either they crash or they don’t). I reached over and grabbed his hand… this trip was going to be amazing.